Wednesday, June 08, 2005

"I am gay" - Kevin Millar

Ok, I admit it. I watched "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" as they made-over the Sox. It was terrible. My eyes are burning.

Beyond the obvious reasons it was bound to suck, the Fab 5 and the Sox had no chemistry. What was worse, the Sox wives and the fab 5 had no chemistry. It was a total miss. But naturally, there were a few interesting observations:

1. Doug Mirabelli is a bit of a dick. He was by far the most homophobic and at one point refused to try on a different shirt - pathetic. I mean, you got yourself into this Doug, may as well play it up

2. Jason Varitek is a totally awesome guy. He played it up well, without being over the top (see Millar) but was also a great sport about the whole thing (got his back waxed). Plus the other interesting thing is the other Sox (Damon, Mirabelli, Millar, and Wakefield) were very much differential to Tek ("wait 'til Tek gets here"). He is clearly the leader. (Plus his wife is totally normal and hot, but not a super model, which makes her hotter. And she is/was pregnant... very pregnant).

3. Johnny Damon has a hair stylist. I am serious. Unfortunately, he buttoned up except for a brief moon-walk for the fashion show. To his credit, he did at one point say to Tek, "Hey Jason, don't you fly your hair stylist in for spring training?" Tek's response was, "dude, I just go to the nearest super cuts". That was about it for banter.

4. Wakefield barely said a word. Plus he had some kind of wax job on his hands to soften the skin, which made me think - Holy Crap no wonder he's struggling this year! Not sure if that has anything to do with anything... All in all he was a good sport. He had his neck waxed and it looked painful!

5. Millar was a bit of a dork to be honest. He was the only guy there without his wife. I missed the first part of the show so I don't know if they explained this at all. Anyway, he is clearly the "class-clown". At one point Carson asks, "Isn't it fun being gay?" Millar's resposnes was, "We never said it's bad to be gay, it's good to be gay... Hey guys, I am gay!" as he waves his hands in the air. He went on to later run around with limp wrists and a couple other silly and obvious jokes.

All in all, it was a bust. I am sure this show jumped the shark many, many, many episodes ago, but if it hasn't this clearly jumped the shark.


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. Classy post, "Anonymous". Nothing like making comments implying that gays aren't real men, and then not having the balls to use your own name or email address. Classic.

    Anyway, do the math. More Sox have WS rings than do the members of your team, whichever team that is (I can take a good guess...).

  3. Oh well, someone deleted the offensive comment by the Anonymous Bigot...deservedly so. I was sort of hoping he'd come back, but that was pretty unlikely anyway.

  4. Anonymous...I am wondering if you are the same ignorant person I blasted not too long ago...

    Let me rephrase...You are a loser.

  5. I totally didn't get to read what Anonymous posted. Who deleted the post?

    Anyway, regardless, I am disappointed that he's distracted from my critical post! I mean, don't you guys think there is some value in this unique insight to the Red Sox?

  6. Wow - that really woke everyone up.

    Sorry I took it down.

  7. ok... I am both pathetic and good at pushing buttons.

    I have to confess... I am Anonymous! I was sad that everyone ignored my posting (par for the course) so I decided to see if I could draw attention to my posting. The thought being, Earl logs on, thinks to himself, "who the hell posts to Carl's stupid postings?", reads the post, etc.

    I promise to not use that trick again.

    But can we now move onto the profound insight I provided by detailed analysis of that damn hour I wasted?

  8. Okay, that's pretty hilarious, I-b-i-d. Thing is, your comment actually appeared right before I was about to comment on your post! (Your first in like a month.) My comment was going to be:

    *crickets chirping*

  9. P.S.
    Say, now that you're online again, how about that batting order?

  10. Godd point Earl. Yeah I think the Sox could be more productive if they rethink the entire batting order. I wish we had some stats on that.