Thursday, January 20, 2005

ESPN's Hot Stove Heaters

All right, so we were just told that Derek Jeter is the "best baserunner", yet Torii Hunter is the "most exciting baserunner", whatever that means (I don't know, I'd say Manny is far more exciting on the basepaths.) I guess I should've figured this out long ago, but it turns out they're writing a "Best..." article for every conceivable category. Rather than grouse about the results as they slowly trickle out over the course of the next month (I said "trickle out"), we should stay ahead of the pack and make our predictions. Of course, there are two predictions to make in each category: who should win, and who ESPN will say. So, without further adieu:

Already picked:
Jan. 12: Best bunter ... Juan Pierre
Jan. 13: Most patient hitter ... Barry Bonds
Jan. 17: Best hit-and-run guy ... Mark Loretta
Jan. 18: Best two-strike hitters ... Bonds and Ichiro
Jan. 19: Best baserunner ... Derek Jeter
Jan. 20: Most exciting baserunner ... Torii Hunter
Any complaints on these? (Other than Jeter of course?)

Coming up ...
Jan. 21: Best basestealer...Dave Roberts!
Jan. 24: Best at breaking up a double play
Jan. 25: Best control pitcher
Jan. 26: Most durable pitcher...The Big Unit or the Rocket, naturally. Must be the nicknames.
Jan. 27: Best slide-step move
Jan. 28: Best pickoff move...Andy Pettitte of course (but aren't those all balks?)
Jan. 31: Best pitcher at moving hitters off the plate
Feb. 1: Best-hitting pitcher...Mike Hampton
Feb. 2: Best outfield arm...Guerrero, Mondesi, Nixon
Feb. 3: Most accurate outfield arm
Feb. 4: Best outfielder at playing the wall
Feb. 7: Best infield arm...Does I-Rod count? There should be a separate category for catchers.
Feb. 8: Best double-play combination...Dumb category -- so few SS-2B pairs stay together for more than 1 season these days. Alomar and Vizquel still get my vote.
Feb. 9: Best cutoff man
Feb. 10: Best first baseman around the bag...Mientikiewzcyxz?
Feb. 11: Best catcher at blocking the plate...Tek
Feb. 14: Best catcher at calling a game...Will be Lo Duca, should be Tek
Feb. 15: Best on-field manager...Bobby Cox?
Feb. 16: Best third-base coach...Dave Sveum. No question.
Feb. 17: Best prankster/clubhouse clown...Ortiz will and should win this.
Feb. 18: Best leader...Brace yourself for a Derek Jeter suck-fest. He probably should win though.

That's a lot of blanks. Any predictions?

9 comments:

  1. Any complaints on these? (Other than Jeter of course?)

    Manny is pretty decent two strike hitter.
    Best hit and run guy – wouldn’t that be Randy Moss.
    Best Punter – A-Rod. Oh wait, that is bunter. Never mind


    Coming up ...my prediction ESPN ALL CAPS
    Jan. 21: Best basestealer...should be Roberts – but they’ll give to BELTRAN and his 90% career success rate (pretty impressive)
    Jan. 24: Best at breaking up a double play Delgado did a good job last year on Dougie baseball JETER
    Jan. 25: Best control pitcher David Wells or Greg Maddux JETER
    Jan. 26: Most durable pitcher...The Big Unit or the Rocket, areed, JETER (okay we get the point)
    Jan. 27: Best slide-step move
    Jan. 28: Best pickoff move...Andy Pettitte although he was injured so they’ll give to someone else maybe
    Jan. 31: Best pitcher at moving hitters off the plate
    Feb. 1: Best-hitting pitcher...Mike Hampton
    Feb. 2: Best outfield arm...Manny – hey he got an OF assist in the WS. Of course he did make two errors in one inning. Remember when Bonds did that in the 2002 WS.
    Feb. 3: Most accurate outfield arm Johnny Damon – of course it only goes 65 feet but very accurate.

    Okay – I’m done. Too many to go through.

    Oh one last one.

    April 3 (NY): Best World Champions: Boston Red Sox!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have a couple comments somewhat related!

    1. How do you use this thing? (Rhetorical)
    2. Yeah, I rock
    3. Nobody listens to me anyway
    4. Why didn't the Hot-stove have a category for "Best on-field outbursts"? My vote is for Carl Everett - alas he must be on downers because he's been quiet now for two years
    5. Pedro gets my vote for best pitchers and moving players off the plate
    6. I second that GYS founder guy who brought up Manny as a good 2 strike hitter
    7. Finally, best cut off man? Common on it's got to be Manny! I mean he even cut off a throw he shouldn't have and... oh wait...
    8. Best use of Blog - Matt Van Nortwick

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  3. Best on field outbusrt - what about Milton. Or Francisco Rodriguez?

    Best baserunner (if you are a Sox fan) - Jeff Suppan.

    Best steroid use denial - Bonds or Sheffield?

    Moving man off plate - how about Rick Ankiel?

    Best two strike hitter of all time might be Boggs.

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  4. Milton and F-Rod? What were their outbursts?

    Manny definitely gets best cut-off man -- good call Jeremy.

    Best at breaking up a double play: Jose Offerman (while playing second base)

    Best hitting pitcher: Pedro Martinez

    Best double play combination: Ortiz/Mueller/Suppan

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  5. Best Steroid Denial, Non-User:

    Rickey Henderson: "The (Sports Illustrated) article said 50 percent. Well, I'm not one of them -- so that's 49 percent right there."


    Runner-up:

    Brian Daubach: "You don't get a body like mine with steroids -- unless you took the wrong ones."


    2nd Runner-up:

    Rickey again: "Look at me, man. Would I need to be tempted? This is all a gift from God."

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  6. Milton and F-Rod? What were their outbursts?

    You are kidding, correct?

    Hey, where is Thomas. Is he off fucking some poor little lass? I did it - first use of profanity. Yes. Yes. Yesssssss.

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  7. Honestly I can't remember F-Rod's outburst. As for Milton, for some dumb reason I was thinking of Eric Milton. Yes, Milton Bradley I remember.

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  8. I meant Francisco Cordero. Cordero, Rodriguez, Gonzalez, Alvarez. I'm getting them all mixed up.

    The chair throwing in Oakland.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Let's not forget Kevin Brown! Granted he at least had the sense to use his glove hand, but still punching a wall is a pretty dumb thing to do.

    Also, didn't Ortiz get really pissed at one point in the year and throw a bunch of bats on the field. That always make for a good out burst.

    ReplyDelete